Lucy pressed him about what he wanted
to be when he grew up. “I told her, Superman,” he says. “You will be Superman,” she
His aunt died soon after, but her words
stuck with him. When an accident left Sicari with titanium plates in his legs and—
and months later, man-of-steel-like, he
defied doctors and ran a marathon—he felt
her presence. When someone he barely
knew gave him a Superman key chain,
he thought of her. Then one night in July
1996, when Sicari was feeling blue, he
heard her voice. “She said, ‘It is time.’” He
knew she meant comedy because of her
encouragement when he was a kid, and at
four in the morning, “I started writing.”
He made a cassette of his jokes and
gave it to his friend John, then a super-
market stock clerk. “He played it over the
loudspeakers one night and told me, ‘You
gotta do this.’” Sicari killed at ShopRite.
Vince August was born.
T-shirt casual, August appears on stage
as a slightly annoyed, ironic observer of
life, drawing much of his material from his
Hackensack Italian-Catholic background.
There are bits about him and his siblings
dodging their mother and her wooden
spaghetti spoon, and enduring other trib-
ulations of youth: “Our crossing guard
would sit in an aluminum folding chair all
day and yell to us, ‘Okay, run!’”
Sicari’s fiancée, Eileen Tessalone, a per-
sonal trainer and group fitness manager
with whom he lives in River Edge, is funny
fodder, too: “We have a king-sized bed,”
he says, “but she sleeps in a starfish posi-
tion and I’m on the hem of the mattress
hanging on like a mountain goat.” Often,
he acts the curmudgeon. “I don’t want to
bring kids into this world,” he jokes. “Not
because the world is so bad, but because
kids ruin everything.”
Carmen Lynch, a Letterman alum and,
like Sicari, a regular at Carolines on Broad-
way in New York, says of her friend, “Vince
is so good no one wants to go on after him.”
Louis Faranda, the club’s general manager,
adds, “When it comes to connecting with
people, no one does it better.” In fact, Si-
cari claims to have great intuition. “I’ve
guessed people’s names just by looking at
them. Where they’re from, their occupa-
tions, the names of their kids.”
Recent media attention hasn’t hurt his
performance aspirations. For the past year,
he has frequently had the opportunity to
warm up the crowd for Jon Stewart’s The
Daily Show. He is scheduled to close a pair
of New Year’s Eve shows at Carolines,
where he performs every Monday night.
And he continues to take meetings for possible talk shows and sitcoms.
Although he calls his latest show “
Disrobed,” the material steers clear of references to the legal profession. “Superman
doesn’t talk about Clark Kent,” he has been
quoted as saying.
Uttering the judge’s oath of office in
2008 was a proud moment for Sicari, but
for August, now is the time to start living
his dream. “People talk about missing their
calling,” he says, “but the phone’s ringing.
They’re just not picking it up.” ■
Elly Schull Meeks is a freelance writer based
The NJBEST 529 College Savings Plan—New Jersey1 is the perfect gift.
For New Jersey families who want to start saving for college, it offers
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